Monday, February 21, 2005

My Best Friend - new poem

On lonely days and lonely nights
A voice keeps me company,
It tells me of wrongs and of rights
And keeps away melancholy.

We talk of dreams still untold,
And of those weathered by time;
Of those filled with moments gold,
And those that weren't worth a dime.

We recall the busy chatter
That we heard on a city street,
The lights, the cars, and the clatter
of high-heeled shoes on busy feet.

We talk of people that we know,
And those we've just heard of;
We talk of their mirth and their woe
Idle gossip we never get tired of.

Sometimes we rejoice in the stars,
Or indulge in academic thought;
We both love sunsets and fast cars,
And the sweet smell the summer rain brought.

But at times the voice is critical,
So i try to escape its wrath;
Running away for me is typical,
Taking time off the beaten path.

My best friend and worst enemy;
Constant companion, faithful guide;
They all combine in the same entity,
For from My Conscience there's nothing i hide.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

about black

the only movie reviews i have ever written have been in school. hence this shall be a new experience.

i finally saw Black on Sunday, a week after the rest of the world. which meant that i had already heard every sort of view about it- form the "it's the best film ever made" (arjun) to "omg, painful!" (my sis). the general opinion was that it was a "decent flick". i had really high expecttaions when i went to see the movie, coz i really admire sanjay leela bhansali... "khamoshi" and "devdas" were great and "hum dil de chuke sanam" is one of my alltime fav hindi films. and now there is black.

what can i write about this moving piece of drama that hasn't been said already. true, there is no entertainment value and that most people who watched it said they didnt know what to feel after it... there in lies the beauty of the movie. it numbs your understanding by showing you something you have never imagined leave alone seen. why a university degree as the sole mission in a girl's life?whats the big deal in it anyways?? a lot of people have found the idea ridiculous and criticised the director for not having come up with something more, how do i say this, "substantial"?! but then again that's the whole point.. something as simple as a BA degree is a herculean task for michelle the protagonist - i guess thats why the politically correct term to use for people like her is "challenged". its a challenge to do the most obvious things in the world. to be devoid of your most basic senses can make life seem so , well, Black.

cinematically bhansali excels as usual with great camera positioning (loved on particular shot of the white hospital bench), very aesthetic color sense (a big departure from the riotous colors in his previous films; showing that he has made an effort to give this film its own identity), an outstanding background score (one of the best original instrumental soundtracks in recent hindi cinema) and a very real script. the setting like all his previous films is larger than life, but that is just to lend the film a "clean" look - the period touch helped too. but by keeping his basic script and dialogues simple he lends a great deal of credibility to the whole film; making it believable and disturbing at the same time. and remember, this film is a quickie by Bhansali standards.

the performances are outstanding and not being a great fan of the Big B, i must admit that he surprised me with his portrayal, especially in the second half where he had almost nothing to say. Rani mukherjee proves yet again that she is the Numero Uno actress in bollywood today - i mean does kareena have even a single good performance to even count? rani's innocence just shines through lending an aura to her character like no one else could have.i also thought the woman who played the mother (very familiar face- cant remember how i know her) did a good job. Dhritiman Chatterjee was underused - but no great loss.

Some things about the film to watch out for: the (un)use of color as compared to bhansali's other movies, the contrast with khamoshi (where every dialogue was screamed out and the gestures were too loud - brings out the difference in the disabilities beautifully - i really wanna see that film again so i can compare),the "fire" element in Khamoshi vs "water" here (interestingly if u look closely hddcs had a "wind" element and devdas had "earth") the li'l girl who is brilliant as the young michelle, the scene where rani "sings", the interview scene, rani's look as a 40 -yr old, the slow introduction of amitabh's alzheimer (though if ppl have no clue abt the disease they will miss the subtleties), tje symbolism of the walking stick... i cud go on for ever.

u might like it, hate it - but do watch it - coz movies like this are made few and far between...

Monday, February 14, 2005


everyone who knows me admits that i am a very emotionally confused person. my moods swing like a rollercoaster and my relationships read like a soap opera script! and no, i am not proud of it... i'd love to have a simple life too; but fate works according to greater whims.

being "involved" with quite a few people with varying degrees of commitment (from crush to confidante to lover and more) at different points in my life i think i am quite an authority on relationships in general. i have often debated as to what the most important word in a relationship is. love, faith, trust, honesty, passion are all obvious answers, but of late a word that has stuck in my head is "equity".

The root cause of strife in most reationships, romantic or otherwise, is the fact that there is an unequal amount of love, faith, passion etc. for any relationship to be truly harmonious it is necessary that there be balance. "Equity" is a word one of my favorite poets Vikram Seth used... "if there be equity, you'd dream of me"

love requires one to understand how the other feels and the only way to do so is to feel the same way. whenever this mutuality is lost, there is hurt, anger and suffering. words like compromise, compulsion, possesive, claustrophobia, lack of space, inattentiveness, et al crop up. the fundamental issue is simple - "i don't feel the way you do".

equity is what we all are ultimately trying to achieve in our relationship - but like most ideals it is seldom found.

p.s: i started writing this a week back, but i thought today was a good day to put it up. happy valentine's day. may th force be with you.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

"multiple personality disorders"

this happened right after the hell link - do i have the right to be depressed or what ...
ladies and gentlemen! beware! i am a bad person!someone get me a couch...

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

URL of the test:

i am a sinner ??!!!

Found this on Samit's Blog - No way in hell is this true!!!!!!! If i am on Level 7 - where are you??

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low

Take the Dante's" Inferno Test - I did!!

Monday, February 07, 2005

couldnt leave poetry out for too long

At Evening

Let me now sleep, let me not think, let me
Not ache with inconsistent tenderness.
It was untenable delight; we are free--
Separate, equal--and if loverless,
Love consumes time which is more dear than love,
More unreplicable. With everything
Thus posited, the choice was clear enough
And daylight ratified our reckoning.

Now only movement marks the birds from the pines;
Now it's dark; the blinded stars appear;
I am alone, you cannot read these lines
Who are with me when no one else is here,
Who are with me and cannot hear my voice
And take my hand and abrogate the choice.

Vikram Seth